Thursday, September 19, 2013

Its Never Too Late

'We can’t meet anymore Aadit’ I said.

‘Why Jovita?’ Why?’ He asked.

I could see the tears in his eyes which were about to fall. He was getting weak. I loved him with all my heart but I couldn’t even go against my parents who trusted me so much.

‘My parents won’t allow me. And we both knew it from starting.’ I replied. ‘I can’t go against my parents.’

"Then who was I? I devoted 5 years of my life to you and loved you like an idiot all this while " he said. "I am addicted to you Jovita. I cant see my life without you."

"Aadit, We knew it from starting baby. All this time we knew what’s the end of this relationship" I replied.

I knew myself well. I knew how much I was attached to him. I knew what he meant to me but more than that I was worried about my dad. He spent all his life for my happiness. I couldn't do this to him.

We were in a restaurant at that moment. I made a move to leave saying "Aadit, I need to go. Bye!"

“Bye” was one word we both decided that we will never say to each other. He hated “Bye”. I made him feel that we are never meeting again in life .And started to walk away .

He called my name ‘Jovita’ and I turned back and saw him standing there. He continued ‘Remember one thing Jovita. I am always here for you. I will always love you. I remain happy in my life only for you. Cause I know you love me. And be happy. Always. I will miss you.’ He looked straight in my eyes all this while .

Finally I broke down. A tear rolled down my cheeks and I hugged him. And cried. He cried with me too.‘I love you more than you know’ I whispered to him . I struggled a bit to drift away from him but to make things even more difficult for me, he got hold of my hand as I was leaving and said ‘I always want to see you happy. Smiling. Please smile for me.’

We both were too shattered from inside but we still smiled at each other. And that’s when I saw him last. Its been almost one year since the day we saw each other last but I can still feel his presence in my life. I always see his name in my what's app list and an urge plays up in me to message him. But I can't. When I listen to ‘Mann Mera song’ which he dedicated to me when he proposed to me I miss him terribly. I miss him when I see Aish and Hrithik jodi. Actually I think I just need a reason to miss him. I love him like an idiot. I always pray to god to do some miracle to bring him back in my life. But the time passes by and that day doesn't come.

My marriage has finally been arranged ‘in my so called caste’. I don’t know why this caste is so important in marriage. Why its important to get married in the same caste. I wonder if my babies will be normal people or they will be born with some caste stamp on them like from some movie Tera bapp chor hai’types and my baby will born with ‘You belong to your so called Caste’.

But anyways,more than a caste it was for my dad.

‘Jovita, get ready fast. Nadeen is about to come to pick you up.’ My dad screamed.

My dad was more excited than me. Actually he was the only one who was excited. It was my first meeting with Nadeen after our marriage was announced. I wanted to tell Nadeen about my past with Aadit. And I knew I would let him know it tonight.

‘Dad, its ok. Relax I will decide. And don’t worry. Ok?’ I calmed my dad down.

He made me sit beside him and said ‘Jovita, you are my pride. I know you will never let me down.’

‘I love you Papa.’ I hugged him and asked him to leave my room as I had to get ready.

I wore an Anarkali suit in yellow colour which Aadit used to like the most. He always said that I looked like an angel in yellow colour. As I got ready reached the living area I saw Nadeen sitting there with my dad. He stood up the very moment when he saw me there and kept on looking at me. I fancied that look a lot. I kept finding Aadit in him whenever he did that. But he was way different than Aadit.

We had dinner together. He treated me like a polite gentleman. All the time I was looking for a moment to tell him about Aadit. But there was none that I could find and was a bit sad. 

When he was leaving me back home in car he mumbled quietly ‘Jovita’

It instantly made me attentive bringing me out of myriad thoughts running through my mind.
‘Am I so bad?’ he asked. I looked towards him in a weird expression. He continued ‘No, I mean I was speaking all along. But you never responded well.’

‘No its not like that. You are a very nice person Nadeen. I am just a little shy one. It takes me a little time to open myself .’ I quickly replied trying to hide all that I was busy thinking in all evening.

As we reached home, I invited him inside the house. The door was open. We entered the house and found Nadeen’s parents and my dad sitting in the living area. Meanwhile they had decided upon mine and Nadeen’s engagement the other day and wedding just after. I didn’t know how to react once they told us this. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run away. I wasn’t happy deep down. But my mind continuously ticking ‘be happy,be happy’ made me behave like I really was.

The next morning was all different. It wasn’t the same house I was living in. It was more like some luxurious hotel. It was all like the way I had ever dreamt of. From my attire to my card, everything. But some other things changed my feeling to the name written in the card. I still imagined life with him. But I had to accept the reality.And the reality was different.

With days and nights passing by in all good pace the moment arrived when I was dressed like a bride. When I was treated like a princess. I was there walking the aisle. Despite of what I had wanted I headed towards the stage. Nadeen's eyes were all on me. And I just had no guts to look in his eyes. I stood beside him and soon the ceremony started and we both exchanged our rings. I wanted to cry out loud. But I had to be happy. Soon the guests started flocking both of us one by one to wish us. I didn’t look up a single time. I didn’t want to. Cause if I did I would have to smile and which I couldn't. I just nodded my head every time someone wished.

‘Congratulations Nadeen. Your wife is beautiful’ someone greeted Nadeen.

I looked up to recall that voice. It was Aadit who was standing in front of me. My heart almost missed a beat. I wanted to hold his hand. Wanted to tell him about the way I lived without him all this time.

But I said nothing. My eyes filled with tears. Aadit stood next to me for a photo-op. While making a move to go down the stage Aadit left a note in my hand. I was eagerly waiting to read that note.

As soon as the function got over and I was a bit alone I read the note. The note said ‘Meet me at pool side around 11 pm today.’

I changed into casuals and left as soon as I could. He was already there waiting for me.

‘Aadit, what are you doing here?’ I gasped in all the haste and inquisitiveness to know what he had to say.
He replied ‘Nadeen is my friend and he has invited me here.’

‘Why did you call me here?’ I asked
‘I was noticing you since sometime standing there and the way you were looking down all the time holding your pallu. I could see the tears in your eyes. Your actions made me give you the note’ He continued. ‘Jovita, Nadeen is one the best persons I know. Please, don’t do that to him. He never had a girlfriend. He always wanted to have only one girl in his life and that too he left on his parents. Please, Don’t be unfair to him.’

He continued again ‘Speak something Jovita. I am with you and always will be. Whatever is there you can say.’

‘Aadit I was scared, I wanted to tell him lot of things but I didn’t know where to start with. I really miss you.’ A tear rolled down my cheeks. I started crying and said ‘I cant let you go. I tried. I tried thousands of times. But I failed. I know I am doing wrong. I am destroying everyone’s life yours, mine and Nadeen's. But I don't know what to do Aadit. Please help. Please!’

‘Okay! First stop crying. Stop crying baby. I am here na. I wont let anything happen to you’ he said..
I controlled my tears and asked ‘ Aadit, Can you do last thing for me?’
He replied ‘Yes Baby.’
‘I want to live this night fully. I want imagine my whole life with you in this moment.’ I asked.
He hold my hands and said ‘I will make this night your whole life.’
He took me in some film studio.. And I travelled my life journey in that night.
We got married then we had our babies in which Aadit wanted 5 and I wanted only 2 and we were almost about to fight. The they got married. We had our grand children and we die after seeing their marriage together to make a new life. I lived my whole life in those moments.

Now after at the age of 53 when I wanted to see my Grand children marriages. Aadit was in front of me. Kneeled down and proposing me to be his life forever. And I was thinking How long forever its going to be.

‘What? Why are you laughing? And please reply fast. My knees are paining.’

‘Why are you doing this?’ I asked.

‘Because now there are no boundaries. Because its only us. And no one will ask reason. And if they do it wont matter to us.’ he said.

I laughed and finally ‘Yes. I will.’ I replied.

And the next day we were married.

When we going through our albums I said to Aadit ‘I miss my dad Aadit.’ And continued ‘After that night. I wasn’t sure how to accept Nadeen in my life. So, I refused to get married. My dad accepted that without any question. My dad has created his respect so I can’t go against him. But I can’t go with him to destroy someone future. I got job here Salzburg and shifted here. And become neighbors with you. And with the right time when no will ask question we got married.’

‘Jovita, Don’t think so much. For me its you who matter not my marriage or having children. We have been separated but still we were together.’ He hold my hands and continued ‘I have got a new birth today. You are the most beautiful part of my life. Who is with me and always going to be with me. I love you Jovita I love you a lot.’

Credits: Edited By: Sumita Garg :) Thank you di.